Bitter Love
- Grace Full Valley Ministries
- Jan 15
- 2 min read
Bitterness isn’t an indication of limited potential in relationships. Usually the bitter heart is the heart with the greatest ability to love deeply. But when you love deeply, you are at the greatest risk of being hurt deeply. And when that deep hurt comes, it seems to want to cage the love that once ran wild and free. Caged love often has a bitter cry. 🤯
-Lysa Terkeurst, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget
❤️✝️🙌🐑
Doing a little Holy Spirit driven self-reflection.
That part in the book hit my ❤️🩹. That is one thing about me, I do love deeply…until I don’t. Once I’ve been hurt deeply, it takes a long time and a LOT of work to sift through and assess all of the emotions that come from that hurt.
Never really thought about it all in the way she describes in her book, but WOW….that totally explains a lot.
To be honest, I’ve been sitting in this space for a while now. So much from 2024 and to be even more raw and honest, some (or maybe a lot more than some) of this bitterness has been directed towards God. Not understanding how going all in for Him ended up with me all out of most everything. I’m smart enough to know God wasn’t punishing me or trying to make me suffer, but my heart unfortunately hasn’t been reflecting that knowledge so much.
I think that’s why He’s had me back in this season of isolation…the valley of growth and development to be made aware of some things and learn:
-I was checking religious boxes but didn’t really KNOW the depth of God’s love for me. Did not really have the relationship with my Heavenly Father to understand that He loves me, no strings attached.
-All in for God felt good and sadly that surfaced feelings inside that I am not proud of.
-Relationships are not promised to you. Meaning there is a season for people and sometimes those seasons come to a very quick end.
-I make messes. Period.
-Trusting God with unshakable faith…praising Him in the valley and on the mountain.
-Forgiveness
-Humility
-Being Still
-Taking a backseat
My prayer is that I can let go of all of the things I’ve been holding on to for good. I am so thankful that even in all of my hidden feelings God is still pulling me closer. I’ve not said a lot of that stuff out loud, so this is it…my vulnerability and now accountability.
Lord, forgive my heart and all of these feelings I’ve been holding on to. Thank you for sending tools along my path to bring self-awareness and healing for me. Thank you for what you are doing in this season and thank you for helping me persevere and endure the fire so that I can come out refined into who you want me to be. Thank you for being a Father who listens to my broken, bitter heart and loves me through it. Thank you for Jesus and the example He gives each of us to follow. Thank you for today. I love you Lord and I know you see my heart, through the hardness to see how much I truly love you. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.