Changing the Narrative

Ok...time to pour my heart out. I tried to talk myself out of it, but it's coming out no matter what.

I am nearing the end of this 8 week semester, coming up on Oct 11.

I submitted my first discussion for my psychology class tonight and after reading it outloud to Jack, I could not help but feel so proud.

You might say, wow, who cares or wow, she really brags a lot. But I want to invite you into my heart and world for just a moment.

I grew up hearing I wasn't good enough, whether through actions or words by people who were supposed to protect me and love. And this isn't a post to bash anyone so before feeling get hurt, everyone makes mistakes and I know they did the best they could with what they had.

None the less, throughout my childhood I was bullied, teased, mocked, and made fun of. People didn't like me, they said I was ugly, weird, stupid...you know all the great insults that supposedly don't hurt.

So when I share my progress on how I'm doing at school, it's more for me than it is for you. You see I also use Facebook as a journaling platform. An open book for everyone to see the ups, downs, beauty, ashes, all of it.

It's not to brag or be prideful. It's not to be better than you or drown your feed in Christi posts.

It's for me to track God moving in my life. It's to track where I was to where I am now, which is constantly evolving.

So every time I post about having A's of feedback from my professor, it's me proving all of the people wrong who told me I was stupid and would never amount to anything.

It's me feeling proud and intelligent. I get to look at a finished discussion paper and realize the magnificent brain God gifted to me.

So tonight I share this with a heavy heart, but not because of something bad, but because it is so full of how amazing I feel right now.

For anyone else who has been lied to and told you are not good enough....baby keep fighting and keep stepping one step at a time. Progress is still progress no matter how big or small someone else says it is and no matter how long it takes.

Listen to the Lord, let him guide you, and when the time is right He will take exactly where you need to go.

I love you guys and appreciate every person who follows my journey whether vocal or not. Seeds are planted and that's all God has asked me to do.

Thank you God for changing the narrative in my life. Without you this isn't possible.

♥️✝️🐑🙌