Speaking Truth in Love
- Grace Full Valley Ministries
- Jan 30, 2024
- 6 min read
Sharing the article below I came across about speaking the truth in love. It's easy to say something and put "in love" to make it sound better, but unfortunately that doesn't give us an excuse to talk however we want. There is a thing I've learned over the last few years at work called "emotional intelligence". It's something that has helped me tremendously in how I communicate with others. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. Some people can handle direct discussions and some people need to have it softened. The same issue or concern being addressed, but specifically tailored to the other person and how they communicate. It takes learning first that conversations don't get a cookie cutter approach. It doesn't mean you're not telling truth, you are just taking time to effectively communicate it so that the other person doesn't (1) shut down, amd (2) get defensive. We can't control others and how they react but we darn sure can learn how to be better communicators with others. It's so important for healthy conflict, conversations, and relationships. It creates a space where both parties can feel validated and not attacked. It's a space where people walk away feeling like something wasn't taken from them. I am no where near perfect at this, and there are plenty of times I communicate poorly, but I refuse to be ok with hurting people when I communicate with them. It's not ok.
I love you guys and I hope this encourages you to look inward and reflect on how you approach conversations. It's easy to just spew words of truth in an agressive way. It takes work and being comfortable with holding your tongue until you can actually speak in love using emotional intelligence.
Before hard conversations, do a head and heart check...
1. Are YOU in a good place mentally?
2. Do YOU have unforgiveness in your heart?
If the answer to #1 is no and/or the answer to #2 is yes, don't have the conversation. It's not going to turn out postive.
❤️✝️🐑🙏
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OUTREACH STRATEGIES
What Does It Mean to “Speak the Truth in Love”?
It’s a lot more than just being honest.
By Chealsia Smedley Friendship, How to Share Your Faith
You may have heard someone use the phrase “speaking the truth in love” before, perhaps while encouraging someone to share how they’ve been hurt or challenging a friend to trust and follow the Bible’s teaching. But what exactly does it mean?
Speaking the truth in love is about more than encouraging honesty; it’s a rich experience of the new way of life that Jesus offers. A life where followers of Jesus are marked by the power of His life, death and resurrection. This power helps them have loving, unified relationships that bring growth and maturity. That includes sharing difficult things with love.
➡️ In Context
The command to “speak the truth in love” comes from the Book of Ephesians when Paul, a follower of Jesus who wrote much of the New Testament, addressed believers in Ephesus. This letter is about how Jesus’ life, death and resurrection transformed his followers into a new humanity. Jesus gave them a new identity, the task and power to live like He did and a new family that includes all other followers of Jesus, no matter how different they are. Today, His followers are invited into the same transforming way of life.
In chapter 4, Paul begins to share how the gospel story (how Jesus redeems people and reunites them with God) can practically affect every area of life.
“And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…” (Ephesians 4:11-15, New International Version, emphases added)
The goal of speaking the truth in love is for Christians to grow together into a community shaped by the truth shown in the gospel — like the fact that you can be truly known, flaws and all, and still be loved by God and others. Sharing your concerns, telling someone they hurt you or being brave enough to help someone see how they can apply God’s Word to their situation becomes an opportunity for everyone involved to experience the tangible love of God and be changed by it.
Telling someone they hurt you becomes a chance for you to grow in showing grace, which is undeserved kindness. For them, it’s a chance to grow in humility as they admit wrong. Both parties get to experience the forgiveness and reconciliation that Jesus’ death bought on the cross.
When communities prioritize communicating God’s truth to one another in a safe space marked by humility and love, they allow each person’s truest self to be affected and changed by the life and love of Jesus. This is how you help others grow.
➡️ How to Speak the Truth in Love
Telling a friend that they are believing a lie about God or that they hurt you isn’t easy. It requires overcoming fear of rejection, putting aside your desire to please others and stepping out in faith. Here are a few tips to help you along the way.
➡️ Follow Christ’s example.
The Bible tells us that Jesus is “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14, NIV). He spoke the truth in love to a woman by a well in John 4. Just by starting a conversation with her and asking for a drink of water, Jesus broke social norms of race and gender that would prevent a Jewish man from even talking to a Samaritan woman. Then he, after pointing out intimate details of unhealthy patterns she had, offered her hope and true satisfaction through a relationship with Him by faith.
Jesus offers love and acceptance alongside truth. Remember that your goal in speaking is to help others see how Jesus’ death and resurrection gives them a greater life than what the world offers.
➡️ Rely on the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is God’s power and presence living within believers. Pray to God and talk to Him about your conversation. Ask Him to give you the words to say, to lead the conversation and speak through you. Ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit and to help you surrender to His lead by putting His desires above your own and being sensitive to how He might want you to respond.
It can be easy to trust in ourselves and our experiences when giving advice, but this can easily come from a place of arrogance instead of humility. The Holy Spirit reminds us of the truth of Christ and the truth of our own need for supernatural patience and grace for conversations.
➡️ Choose a proper setting.
Setting can be the difference between honoring or shaming the person you want to share with. Bringing something up in an argument can lead to defensiveness and regret, sending a text is a recipe for misunderstanding and sharing in a group can cause embarrassment. Instead, talk in person when possible, one-on-one and in a space where you can both listen and process what the other person is saying.
➡️ Understand before seeking to be understood.
Whether it’s judging a problem before letting someone explain or telling a hurting person something they already know — quickly sharing the truth can do more harm than good. By asking questions and listening closely, you can avoid judging your friend or jumping to conclusions. Remember: love sees the other person.
➡️ Leave the results up to God.
You can’t make someone see where you are coming from or make them change. Be aware that the conversation might not end where you want it to. But this is also part of loving and showing grace to someone: accepting them as they are while being brave enough to challenge them to grow.
Jesus wants His people to be like Him. Christians should be known for the way that they lovingly communicate the truth, both with each other and with outsiders. As we do this, we are able to live the genuine and abundant life that Jesus offers us. Whether you are sharing the gospel with a friend, reminding someone of Jesus’ character or challenging them to obey God’s word, each day believers can grow together as they speak the truth in love.
*not my photo*
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